Usually, trending topics go like ‘why women don’t want to be housewives’ but during my conversation with a friend few days ago, the topic took a new turn, ‘Men don’t want their wives to be housewives, they also don’t want them to go too far’.
Talking about insecurity, there are dimensions to it and the one that affects men most is financial insecurity. Forget about emotional insecurity, they rarely feel it. All men want is money, respect and honour. And money is one factor that can bring or take away respect and honour.
This patriarchal society sees men as the head and breadwinner of a family and a wife respects and cheerfully submit to a husband who is able to provide all her needs; take her and her kids shopping when they want. But, as all fingers are not equal, not all men can afford this responsibility of being the sole breadwinner. Thus, some wives also win bread for the family
But the issue now boils down when a wife goes out to hustle and she’s making it bigger than her husband. She is getting more money and recognition from the populace. The husband’s emotional insecurity and the question, “full housewife or president?” arises.
So now, I’m asking you. Which would you prefer your wife to be? Please give an answer before you read on.
I anchored this discussion on Facebook and whatsapp yesterday and it was intriguing. We got diverse responses that amazed me. It was really fun and intuitive to have people’s opinion on such topic. As a matter of fact, I got less positive response towards having a President wife compared to it’s counterpart, a full housewife.
People gave various reasons for their choice and quite a number defended their choice for a housewife with kids’ need for attention from the mother and other household responsibilities. Others believe they are created to be the HEAD thus, cannot be a ‘First man’ to a woman. They prefer to wallow in their token income than enjoy the luxury of being married to a President.
A few people chose the wife who is a president. Very few. A respondent meticulous in his writing, was conditional as to what will make him go for a President wifey but didn’t choose a housewife. And the funniest response of all was the guy who said he would prefer a wife who is a president so as to enjoy hot sex in Aso rock! If you still don’t believe that sex is a factor for marriage for some people, this should convince you.
From this conversation, it was obvious that most men would not like their wife to make it bigger than them. Such that she is getting more money and recognition from the populace. Because, this takes her away from home, from her kids and as well makes the man feel less than the Head which he’s supposed to be.
And, if you ask me which of these reasons matter most, I’ll tell you it’s the last. Men don’t want to feel any less than the head. The Bible in Ephesians 5:23 has said it that the man is the head of the wife while Christ is the head of the church and this fact have men of many generations carried in their head wrongly.
If without disputing, the man is the head of the wife then, the wife is what?
She’s the neck. And men usually forget that the head is cut off from the body without the neck. Without the neck, the head is nothing! So, if you choose to let your wife just take care of the house because you don’t want her to be a president, you can’t stand her making it bigger than you, you’ve got to think well, what damage you could be doing to yourself.